you know how sometimes people throw the phrase around “your parents are so cool!” or “you’re so lucky, your parents are so chill!” well, i got that a lot while growing up, and in fact, i still do.
allow me to explain.
my parents are not what is deemed ‘strict’ with nor my brother or me. we’ve always had a very casual, friendly and tight relationship with our parents.
my friends would come over to ours when they didn’t feel like staying at theirs, and would talk to my parents about anything and everything. i remember walking in the lounge one day and seeing my dad and my brother’s friend talking about his break up to my dad and both of them trying to have a laugh over it and see the good in a bad situation.
but im not writing this blog post to put my parents on display for no apparent reason – im writing this blog post to shut down the biggest misconception people have about children with lenient parents:
kids with lenient parents turn out horrible.
my parents are super chill, we can talk about anything and everything with them and they let us go out with whomever and wherever we want as long as they are aware and it’s safe (for the most part at least – my mom would still never let us go skydiving)
and in turn, we’re honest. we’re truthful kids that don’t have to lie about our whereabouts or what we’re doing to our parents.
in turn, we have a bond with our parents that i believe possesses a unique strength.
for every unreasonable rule a friend’s parents would set for them, i saw they’d be more inclined to disobey and go against them.
my brother is a straight A student and has been for as long as i can remember. he was pretty much the smartest kid in school for all of the time he was there.
im quite the social butterfly and that has taken me to loads of places – all of which im so thankful for.
we both say please & thank you, smile at strangers on the street and hold the door open for the person coming through.
we love talking to our family and other adults, delightfully and with respect.
we love spending time with our little cousins and having family movie nights.
we love sleeping on our mothers lap and on our father’s chest.
you see, any relationship is always a two way street. our parents gave us freedom and trusted us, and in turn we have always done everything we can to be the best we could for them. we did our best to make them proud and always reflect the great upbringing they’ve given us, in action.
a lot of times when teachers or other adults compliment my brother and i and speak highly of us infront of our parents, they say “you’ve such well mannered and bright kids, you have brought them up so well.”
and that speaks for itself.
i wasn’t as bright as my brother was, and thats not because i didn’t try, i just wasn’t as smart as him. maybe in other ways, sure. but it wouldn’t always show academically and i wouldn’t always excel in school. my parents never punished me for it, infact they told me it was okay and that i didn’t have to thrive in math or science to prove i was smart. they believed in me when i didn’t believe in myself and now I’ve won numerous competitions, worked with great companies and have my own blog.
my parents would never threaten to log in to our Facebook accounts or check our phones and so they know of every friend we have, every fight we have and every crush we have. infact, more often than not my friends would add my parents on facebook and instagram and maybe even send them a WhatsApp occasionally!
as i grew up and had this conversation with a lot of my friends, I’ve always said, i want to be a parent just like my parents. im going to give my child freedom and be their best friend before anything else.
maybe its time for us to move past the notion that we need to grill our kids and keep them “as straight as a stick”. maybe it’s time to trust your kids, let them grow and give them the platform to make both the right and wrong choice, but trust them to make the right one.
i understand that every parent may have different parenting styles and only a parent would know what would be best and most fit for their child, but im talking solely out of my own experience at first hand and what it taught me.
we always tweet how we’re the better generation, how we don’t wanna be behind and how we want to revolutionize the world; so let’s start in our homes.
lets rid ourselves and the world of the mentality that tough love is the only way to go. dont get me wrong – in some situations, tough love is exactly what it takes but it isnt always the answer.
so here’s a shoutout to my beautiful parents – thank you for the love. thank you for trusting me and thank you for believing in me. i am better today because of how you raised me.
i want to acknowledge that ive been blessed and am fortunate enough to have two lovely parents who care so much for me – and that parenthood can be a sensitive topic for some, but again, im just sharing my perspectives from my own experiences. so i’d also love to hear from you. what are your views on parenthood? what sort of parent would you like to be? or rather, what makes up the ideal parent? 🙂